No. Sleep. Till. Brooklyn.

Dear Junebug,

You are 3 months old today. That was both the fastest and slowest three months of my life. I thought I would write down a few memories and thoughts, because somehow now you are not a newborn! But a real live baby!

• You just started to smile and coo and giggle and it's so incredible. I used to daydream about my Oscar speech or Outlander, but now all I can think about is you smiling at me. 
• You really loved to party from 2am-6am until about two weeks ago. You're dad and I got pretty creative with that time. I would order random items from amazon and have no memory of doing so when they arrived 2 days later. Your dad watched a lot of Bob Ross.
• You are sleeping longer stretches at night (7 hours!) which feels great, but I wake up because I miss you. I also wake up to "gently" kick the crib to make sure you are breathing. But mostly because I miss you.
• Nothing makes you feel quite as sexy as trying to shove your boob in an unwilling and/or screaming baby's mouth. I have learned this lesson well in your first three months of life. 
• I have never been so exhausted. I have had moments/days where I have felt completely overwhelmed. I have also never been so happy.
• Sometimes when you are eating I smile down at you and you smile up at me and forget to eat. And then my heart bursts.
• You love ceiling fans. You and your dad like to lay on the bed and look up at it all afternoon.
• Girl, those poops of yours could clear any room. 
• I never want to forget how you do this little excited growl and attack when you feel the nipple/bottle on your lip. Or the look you give us when we give you the pacifier and milk doesn't come out. 
• You have ruined Caesar's life, but he loves you anyway and won't leave the room you are in. 
• You really love to walk around around the house while I explain things to you like, "here is the toilet, June! It's where your dad is for 45 minutes each morning!"  Right now you really love looking at the Christmas tree and reaching out to it. 
• Every time you grow out of something, I cry. I also cried much harder and longer than you did when you got your first shots. Your dad asked me if he needed to get me an ice cream cone after, to which I said "hells yes".  The doctor's office should really provide that.
• Parenthood has shown me I chose well with your dad. He is a swaddling/diaper changing/ baby wearing/bottle feeding master. He also listens to me cry about various things while pumping and hasn't once made a fem-bot joke. We are the three amigos these days. 
• You have discovered your hands. You hold on to my shirt and won't let go. I'll tell you this when you want to go away to college in 18 years while I sob. 
• We watched a lot of Real Housewives your first month of life, I am just now starting to wonder how this will affect you. What if your first words are "I have a taste for luxury, and luxury has a taste for me"?
• We've also listened to the first 2 books of Harry Potter and now I'll always associate that magical newborn time with that story. Pun intended?
• You have taught me to slow down. Sometimes I still try to do a million things, but your needs always come first, which has made me more present. 
• You have a VERY large head. I had to cut you out of a onesie once. As in: your head had grown while you were wearing it. You also have a flat spot, so your dad and I are constantly turning your head, only to turn around and you've put it back where you like it.
• Sometimes at night I just stare at you in wonder. 

This has been the happiest time of my whole life. I love you, little bug.